You know that scene in The Princess Bride when Buttercup dreams that she attends her coronation as queen and, as she proceeds amongst her royal subjects, the crone appears yelling "boooooo, boooooo! Bow down to filth and dirt!" In the dream, the crone condemns Buttercup for not being worthy of her position and in so doing justifies her deepest insecurities and self doubts.
Well, I had the pleasure of that experience this afternoon.
After picking up my son from the bus stop, we stopped off at the coffee shop for tea and milk before heading to my studio for an afternoon of lessons, homework, and iPod fun. We were short on time, Joe was tired, and we found a parking spot directly in front of the coffee shop door so I told him he could wait in the car, which of course I locked and left the window cracked. I was in and out in under three minutes but, as I unlocked the door and handed Joe his milk I heard,
"Exuuuuuuse me. Is that your car? The one with the child in it?!"
Oh, man.
I turned to face a formidably heavy set woman with a cell phone. For the benefit of everyone within a block's radius she began to scream,
"You're lucky I didn't call the police! Leaving your child in the car! You're a f@#*ing, horrible, lazy mother!!! I'm just about to call the police!!!"
This is when I jumped in the car and got out of there but, just in case you're ready to go viral with this, let me explain that it is NOT illegal to leave a child Joe's age in the car unless the weather is extremely hot (it was 65 degrees) and you leave the keys in the ignition.
Despite knowing in my heart I am not a f@#*ing, horrible, lazy mother, I still struggled not to cry and shake through the rest of the afternoon. How did that scary beast of a person know I had recently been questioning my capacity to be a patient, loving parent? How did she know I struggled daily to get through the day without yelling too much, or ignoring anyone, or letting my kids run into the wall and get too many bruises?
From the moment a woman is visibly pregnant, there will be those who feel compelled to judge her competence as a parent.
The greater challenge is not to judge ourselves.
Bringing you the nitty gritty on raising [happy, healthy] children
One of your best posts yet. Wonderfully written.
ReplyDeleteThis story touched me. I know we haven't met, but I go through these struggles every day and I enjoy hearing how you deal with these situations. Tell Eric I said hi (this is his cousin in case this doesn't show you my last name)!
ReplyDeleteHugs, Bear. You are an awesome mother. I'm amazed by your capacity to juggle life with such patience and a gentle sense of humor. F*&% that mean woman. I suspect she's rather unhappy and her outburst had nothing to do with you personally; it's just painful that you had to bear the brunt of it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bunny! I wish you had been there. You would have taught her some manners!
Delete